Friday, December 31, 2010

Soft Hearted

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New International Version, ©2010)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Romans 8: 1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

These are the two verses that I thought about as I made the seven and a half hour drive from Jacksonville, Fl to Asheville, N.C.
My dad was scheduled for a heart cath on Wednesday because his mitral valve was leaking and they were planning on fixing it on Thursday. I made it to the hospital about a half hour before he came out of the cath.
It wasn't just the valve that needed fixing though, turns out he had 5 blockages as well.
That was a huge blow to my fathers pride in his excellent health and disciplined nutrition over the years.
Several times I have seen my father tear up when it was time to say goodbye but seeing him upset over getting a procedure done that he never thought he would ever have was a new experience.

The surgery went fine but the veins in one of his long legs was good enough and so they had to use one from his other leg as well.
The staff had warned us that he would not look good the first time we saw him ... I knew what they were talking about ... if I thought I could have gotten out of it I would have but alas this trip isn't me. The tears stayed contained but man did I want to take a walk around the hospital afterward and let them out.
But I didn't know if that would have been productive so I didn't.
And now day three.
He is supposed to be sitting up in a chair, less wires and tubes, more talking.
More talking, something that has always been awkward.
There have been times when I have shared my faith with my dad and after the last time on one of our cruises I had the peace that no more needed to be said.
when I told people that I was coming up to see my dad they asked if I would present the gospel again?
My peace was rattled, and I am uncertain.
The prayer I have so often prayed for my father is that God would soften his heart, it's not my job and I praying the Holy Spirit would continue to give me the words to share my hope, my lack of condemnation in such a manner that I will be a light to my father and stepmother's world that cannot be hidden.

Matthew 5:14 (English Standard Version)
14(A) "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.

1 comment:

sister sheri said...

Beautiful to think of you praying for your father's heart to be softened... and that it truly is now. That when we think we are invincible because of how we take care of our health only to realize that we are not in control of our health at all. That we may try to make our outside look healthy, but it truly is the heart that must be healthy.

"...The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV

Praying that your life will be a testimony that welcomes your father to your Father.

Much love to you... and Happy New Year!