Metanoia

Two thoughts I had that prompted me to post:

1. I wish tea didn't make my face break out.
2. I'm glad I don't have a problem with sleep.

Last week I started reading Good Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith. 
Tracy reccomended it.
I had never heard of it or the author.
I was suspiscious.
The first chapter was great, and I'm not saying that just because I already had the soul training exercise mastered before trying it.
It is nice to go through a book and the big challenge of the week you don't actually have as an issue.
At different times in my life I have even wondered if sleep was an idol in my life.  Right now, at least, sleep isn't an idol but food very much is.  Matter of fact right before I started writing this, I had a very fresh pita that was so good I wanted to eat the whole bag of pitas immediately. Even though I didn't eat more than I should this time I could spend the rest of this post talking about it.
Back to the book..
I am excited about this book because it carries on some ideas that Gloria and I discussed with Made to Crave. 
"The will is more like a beast of burden that simply responds to the impulses of others."
"Change happens when these other influencers (mind, body, social context) are modified."
"We cannot change simply by saying,'I want to change.' We have to examine what we think (our narratives) and how we practice (the spiritual disciplines) and sho we are interacting with (our social context).
So the first soul training exercise was the spiritual discipline of sleep training. This week exercise is to spend 5 minutes a day in silence.  I think I can do that. My problem is that either I fall asleep or my mind is not silent...that's why I need this training exercise I guess.
One of my favorite parts of chapter 1 was when Smith introduces how change has to happen in our minds. He quotes Jesus in his first sermon, "Repent (Metanoia), for the kingom of God is at hand."  Smith then goes on to say "Metanoia refers to the changing  of one's mind." He then references:

1. Romans 12:2  "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God --what is good and acceptable and perfect
2. Colossians 3:2 "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."
3. Philippian 2:5  "In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus"

Garden Plans

Third and Fourth Chapters of Made to Crave gave me more food for thought...HA, is it okay to have food for thought when you're discussing food issues?

"I can't wish blooms into place any more than I can wish fat away." I loved her analogy of wanting a garden and wanting to be thinner...both take work.

• What thoughts, images, or emotions do you associate with the word plan?Are you the kind of person who says, "I love it when a plan comes together! or are you more likely to say, "Plan-schman, cant we all just go with the flow?

                 -Alright, as soon as I read this I realized I am so not a planner.  I hate meal plans, life plans according to Stephen Covey, dress plans, vacation plans, money saving plans...yep, most every plan...maybe even memorizing the plan to salvation...I mean, yes I believe in Salvation and believe you should share your faith but...the whole plan idea makes me a little jumpy, scitterish, maybe even nauseous.
They feel restrictive, like the spanx I put on to look better in my clothes.
I never knew I had such an adverse reaction to plans.
Lists I like.
I have a list started this morning for things I need to do before we go on our Czech mission trip.
I have a list on the fridge of things I would like Josh to address in the house.
I have a list of songs that I would like to download.
But no plans.
Immediately this verse comes to mind:
Proverbs 15:21 Plans fail for lack of counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed.
Good thing I've got many advisers, just in case I do have a plan!  The title of Chapter 4 is even "Friends don't let friends eat before thinking."
Plans make me feel discouraged because they seem impossible to carry out. And "desperation breeds degradation" according to Terkeurst.
Good thing chapter 1 dealt with the Tower of Impossibility.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  Be self-controlled and alert. 1Pter 5:7-8

When I want to eat and I have already eaten it has been easier to remember to take the bricks from my tower of impossibility and use them in my pathway to prayer. BUT, it is when everyone else is eating dessert that I find I don't even think or see the tower of impossibility...it is in a smokey haze like the one that covered Jacksonville yesterday.

The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

Romans 8 : 26-27

Mountains

You have circled this mountain long enough, now turn north. Deut.2:3
My ambitious soul sisters from church and I are going to plow through Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst this summer.  We meet this morning.
I'm  a slacker.
Bought the book yesterday.
Read chapter 1 last night, fell asleep.
I'm also an early riser.
Got up at 5 and read chapter 2 and flipped through the book.
At the end she has "Healthy Eating Scripts".
Deut. 2:3 really popped off the page for me.
I think it may be my summer verse.
Before I posted though, I wanted to read it in context.
Did you know there was a ESV Literary Bible online?  (Well I didn't before I googled the verse. ) The overview of the chapter made me think that the verse might be taken out of context but then as I read on I stumbled over these words:
2:7" For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He knows your going through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you. You have lacked nothing.”
How many times have I felt unblessed?
How many times does the Lord my God seem to not be with me.
How many times do I feel lack?
But...
He knows my going through this great wilderness.
Heavy Sigh.
And so I am not disappointed in what I found and my soul is refreshed with the promises. 
I am looking forward to walking through this book with Anne and Julie and thinking of my other soul sisters and wishing they were coming over today to discuss it too.

servitude

Helen:  "Read the New Testament, and observe what Christ says, and how he acts; make his word your rule, and his conduct your example."

Jane: "A new servitude!  There is something in that," I soliloquised (mentally, be it understood;  I did not talk aloud).  "I know there is, because it does not sound too sweet; is it not like such words as Liberty, Excitement, Enjoyment: delightful sounds truly; but now more than sounds for me; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to listen to them.  But Servitude!  That must be a matter of fact.  Any one may serve: I have served here eight years; now all I want is to serve elsewhere.  Can I not get so much of my own will?  Is not the thing feasible?  Yes --yes--the end is not so difficult; if I had only a brain active enough to ferret out the means of attaining it."

"Reader I married him."

I love Jane Eyre.
At some point in my pursuit of an English Degree I am sure I read it.  When I read it this month though, only some of it was familiar. Some have said how depressing this book is but I found it so encouraging of Christian good triumphing self righteousness and evil and the bad hard things that anyone could encounter in this broken life we have been given because of the fall.
Today I ordered my own copy.  I'm sure I had my own at some time but in one of my desperate attempt to purge I must have decided that I didn't need it.  The copy I checked out from the library is The Modern Library Classics edition and in the back it has the chapter by chapter scriptural references and it also has book club discussion questions at the back.  To be honest though, the questions seem more like topics to write a college essay on instead of a discussion...maybe my discussions are too shallow, or my brain to mushy to be able to site verse and page of basis for my argument.
Today I have to return my copy to the library but on Thursday my own should come in the mail and I can write in it to my hearts content and then maybe I could formulate some answers to the questions.

After the dazzle of Day

AFTER the dazzle of day is gone,
Only the dark, dark night shows to my eyes the stars;
After the clangor of organ majestic, or chorus, or perfect band,
Silent, athwart my soul, moves the symphony true.
Walt Whitman

I mentioned that we listened to the Aurora County All Stars by Deborah Miles when we made our way down to see my husband's family this past weekend. Elise, Emmett and I finished the book on tape today and it had me crying in parts.

I LOVE CHILDREN'S LITERATURE!!!
The book was "performed" by Kate Jackson...loved her in Charlie Angles and what was that housewife detective show she used to be on?
At any rate, the story had real kids that weren't trying to save the world on their own and didn't seem disrespectful to their parents and had wonderful names:

House Jackson and his little sister, Honey; Cleebo Wilson; Parting “Pip” Schotz; Mr. Norwood Rhinehart Beauregard Boyd

Each chapter started with a baseball quote and I'm not sure but I think every chapter had a Walt Whitman quote. Makes me want to search my book shelves for Leaves of Grass.
Oh, if you live in the South, love books, have a boy or a girl have someone old in your life, have someone that has died recently, or every had a conflict in your childhood then this book will be a delight.

This post has been interrupted my mom insanity of finding clean laundry strewn all over her son's room.
Initially said hysterical mom went in room in search of The Summer Folk book which is illustrated by the same person who did the book I found yesterday. I will not be finishing this post like I had planned because I need to find some prosac...which is contradictory to the wonderful radio spot I heard yesterday by Beth Moore about Coping and not self-medicating......did you hear it?
All I hear is nuclear bombs going off in my head right now...will try to have some peace talks.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.

Psalm 138 : 7 |

Father forgive me

Father forgive me it's been 10 days since my last post and I haven't narry a Christmas picture to post.

I'm not Catholic but I have been using Catholic resources lately and I may be a bit confused.

The last couple of weeks for Children's choir devotion I have been focusing on Advent and the top googled Advent devotions have been...Catholic.  This site is where I did my reading today, read the whole weeks worth in fact.  It was really good. I wish I were more diligent in doing devotions for myself instead of waiting until I have forum. This Sunday the kids are singing before the service, pray that they a breath of fresh air in the midst of the frustration and unrest that is our church right now. (assistant pastor asked to resign last week...people hurt and wounded exponentially now)

This morning Stewart had to be at school at 5:40 for a field trip so that gave a few minutes on the computer this morning.  Sorry the posts are dwindling, they may just dwindle a tad more because of the work load.  I have managed to keep reading The Moore by Laurie King.  It has been slow going because I can only read a few pages each night before the words start swimming.  Still lovin this author and her Mary Russell series...just saying if you need a nice little historical fiction/mystery for your reading pleasure I am still recommending her.

Working a the Embroidery shop is going better, it was/is a lot to learn and remember but I am remembering more and the lady I work for/with is very pleasant and her voice is very gentle and so the work goes quickly.  The kids and Josh and my mom have all pitched in to share the home front work load so it that arena is sailing rather smoothly. Now if I just had a ghost poster they this front would be covered as well!

The Great Pumpkin

Acts 2:21 And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

This is the verse I need to learn for the k-2 grade Sunday School class tomorrow and by default will be my October verse.

October is presenting itself in a fairy tale way...ie The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

• I spent the first two weeks wrestling with bullies.

• The Lord used me to start a children's "choir" at church this Wednesday and then brought in the music teacher at the last minute even though he had been saying no all along.

• Then on the same day the children's choir was to begin, my sister calls up and shared something we've both known since May.....Oct. 31 is looming unbearably. And so even though I had resisted telling her since May when I booked the ticket, there were no words of comfort I could offer so instead I distracted her by saying that I was flying up. It worked.
• The next day she said she would pay for the two youngest to fly up with...she wanted the whole family but they couldn't take off a whole week.
• I finished The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy....been reading it bit by bit since Spring...it was a very good book considering it was a classic and used some words which I had never seen before or knew the meaning.
• Started another Laurie R. King book, this one is The Game...not the page turner like The God of the Hive but Lovely nonetheless.
• Twice this month my neighbor and I have jogged 4 miles in 39 minutes...that's a fairy tale if I ever heard one!
• John-Thomas beat a boy from church in a cross country meet that had previously beat him by a minute or more and then this morning he got a ribbon.
• Yesterday when I took the van in for an oil change...that's all it needed.....that is definitely the stuff fairy tales are made of!

Anything out of the ordinary for you this month?

Tiffany's reply

This is a "guest post" by my friend Tiffany, she lives in King George, Va and we met 12 years ago at Barnes &Noble in Melbourne, FL. She doesn't blog but has given her permission to reprint this email.

Emily,

Excellent my dear friend! Excellent. I am excited that you loved the book recommendation. But you know, it's not just that. I love when someone else gets that excited about a book- regardless of whether it's my recommendation or not. For, I love when I feel that way myself. Funny that you describe 'The Mayor of Casterbridge' as your 'car book'. When I use the term 'car book', it's to describe a book that I carry with me everywhere- because I cannot put it down. I find myself snatching paragraphs at stoplights, and getting honked at meanly for my troubles.

Oh! how I love Mary Russell. You must go back to the beginning and read them all, you know. If you go onto Amazon, you can look up the order of books in the series. Another great website is http://www.stopyourekillingme.com/ , such a fun name. It's a great site devoted to mystery books of all breeds. It's a lovely place to spend a day- it's where I found Ms. Russell. They have a neat little area where you can search up exactly your type of mystery series- historical, specific location, etc.

You know, you would love the Maisie Dobbs series by Winspear. Also the Charles Lenox series by Finch. Maisie and Charles are favorites of mine as well- but Mary Russell has my heart. Mystery series are the satisfying snacks which I consume betwixt beefy literature. The number of snackies depends upon the heaviness of the main course. Example: 'Animal Farm' 'Mary Russell' 'Crime and Punishment' 'Mary Russell' 'Mary Russell' 'Maisie Dobbs' 'Jane Eyre' 'Charles Lenox' 'Sophie's Choice' 'Mary Russell' 'Mary Russell' 'Mary Russell' -and so forth, ad infinitum.

I am glad you enjoyed my autumn leaves. I hope they did not make you sneeze. I dried them out on top of my oven whilst baking banana bread- but one can never be sure with such unconventional methods. I was fervently hoping you would not open up a moldy letter. And it's absurd to complain about fall leaves in one's yard. The brightness of autumn's foliage is God's artistic compensation for winter- and should be enjoyed as such. Swearing at them, raking them up and bagging them- or burning them, is disrespectful. I ride over mine in my mower to chop them up, and leave them where they are -the better to replenish the nutrients in my soil and give back to the trees the energy they need. Afterall, the leaves belong to the trees and are part of their life cycle. The lady next door is a raker and burner- (despicable woman).

I think the tennis lessons are a wonderful idea. I took tennis as a child and liked it. My sister, Jessica and I, took lessons together. Additionally, it should open up more time for reading. But of course, it's the children's exercise that we are most concerned with.... I must confess that I savor cooking large one pot meals, precisely for the opportunity they afford for perching on the breakfast bar indian-style, book in hand. I make lots of of pot roast.

Well, it is my opinion that we just get back into letter writing. Don't you agree? I very much enjoyed the letter that you sent, and really enjoyed the email below. It was well-written, well organized, and struck the right note of witty highbrow humour (spelled with a 'u'). Autumnal vestage, indeed....

Here's to good friends, good books, and the written word! Cheerio and pip pip, Tiffany

Letter to Tiffany

Well, I shouldn't have been surprised, not like you have ever steered me wrong with one of your book recommendations, it's just that I so rarely pick up a book....let alone a book that you recommend.  I remembered last week to ask the librarian about a Mary Russell book, that's all I could remember you told me.  The librarian found one, God of the Hive and put it on hold, I picked it up Friday and finished it today.  I can't ever remember enjoying a book so much.....from the first sentence!  Normally a book takes a few chapters to get into, but not this one.  And I can't remember the last book I stayed up reading into the night and made myself put down before I was sleepy. I think I was only able to put it down because there was only 1 chapter in the whole book that didn't have a death grip on my attention.  This morning I woke up and started reading again until John-Thomas told me it was time to take him to school.  I came home, did the morning dishes, started a load of laundry and then started reading again, letting Emmett and Elise do Lord knows what....certainly not reading, writing or arithmetic until noon when I finished.  Then they wanted to go on a bike ride so I threw on my jogging clothes/shoes and we went out for 30-40 minutes and then started our chores/school work in earnest.  Tonight when I took John-Thomas to his piano lesson it took everything I had to stay away from the library and put another one on hold.  Instead I went to Starbucks and tried reading more of the Mayor of Casterbridge that I started moons ago and enjoy it but haven't finished because it is my car book for times when there are a few minutes at my disposal and I don't want to spend them pondering my navel. 

John-Thomas is learning Hall of the Mountain king, Stewart is learning Linus and Lucy (Charlie Brown Christmas) and both of them are wonderful to hear practiced over and over.  Emmett's piece was not so lovely so today I told him no more, find something else.  Elise is just starting and doesn't like practicing with her left hand, says its too hard.  A lady from Parks and Rec called today to say that she would be offering tennis if Emmett and Elise were interested so it looks like we will be adding that to our itinerary as well...but not tomorrow because they have dentist appointments....
That book still has my hyped, I was supposed to be looking up the email address of the art teacher for a friend but I stopped when I ran across your name and remembered I had wanted to call you all day to tell you of my reading bliss! 
In my haste to tell you of my excitement I have failed to mention the fun of receiving your letter!  Elise asked me what you wrote me about and so I read it aloud which made it all the more special and romantic in a Jane Austin kind of way.  What a nice memory she will have of her mother reading wonderfully written letters from a friend...that also was so kind to share some of her fall foliage!  Because you know of course that there is nary a poplar around to bestow its autumnal vestige.

hats off to you

This picture and title has nothing at all to do with the post, that's just how my brain's working these days.
Last time I was at the library I told you that I picked up some great books.  I should've have worked on finishing Love and War by John and Staci Eldridge...but I didn't.  Instead I finished Pilgrims by Garrison Keillor....that was an uh, oh.  Right smack dab in the middle of this seemingly innocuous story the main character has an affair the day before her 35th anniversary.. while in Italy.....WHat?  Really? Josh reminded me of the saucy scenes that pop up in Prairie Home Companion in the detective part but I forgot.
Yesterday I picked up Becoming Jane Eyre by Sheila Kohler...I'm hoping it is better. Should just stick to children's fiction huh?

Not done yet

Ready set.....

Yesterday was supposed to be districts for Middle School Track and Field but it got rained out...which meant....I got to meet up with two lovely ladies at the indoor gun range!
My sister said I was getting all redneck on her but my gun totin friend said we were going gansta!
I really enjoy shooting the beebee gun in the back yard and thought this was going to be loads more fun... but it was really loud and the casings were flying at me and when I fired the gun it was a whole lot brighter than I imagined and, and, and..I sound like a nimkapoop. The best part of course was just hanging out with Shanel and Evie.
Why am I telling you this? I don't know, just thought you would like to know. I haven't posted anything in over a week, though there have been blog posts floating around in my head...

• my birthday...got a hubcap

• the maid came and her husband pulled everything out of her bedroom while I was at the first girls and guns get together where we learned about gun safety.

• learned last months bible verse really quick and could have learned another but I didn't
• haven't posted this month's Bible verse...I thinking something from John 15
• the visual that went with last week's Sunday school lesson was really good, it involved candy and money
• I hate my hair
• I love my husband...we don't want to go to the marriage conf. at our church though
• found some great books at the library this week, and oddly enough one is about marriage...Love and War by the Eldridges...the other was Sewing Green...
  
• I miss you and wish I could have lunch with you

John-Thomas just called and said Districts is set for today at 5. He's done great in the hurdles and that will be the only thing he will compete against 7 other schools today. I think I will bring a book. I hope Josh can get a better picture of him jumping the hurdle than I have.

John 13:17 "If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.

Free Time, Dogs and Cats

Blessed unexpectedly by some free time on Saturday and Sunday I finished my second children's book of the year. It was Very slow going for the first half of the book, none of my kids have made it through to the end...I did not give up. As soon as I got to the part of the Unsavory Character I knew I had to finish the book. The parts about Gracie the Cat and Ginger Pye the adorable puppy were entertaining, especially since it reminded me of Gretta and her relationships with cats.
Josh claims I had it all planned out ...this free time. You see it wasn't my turn to teach Sunday School and while I had a hard time finding a substitute helper for my partner in Crime for the K-2 class I did indeed prevail to secure a sub...a few hours later though my co-teacher called to say she couldn't teach because her son was not recovering well from surgery .....
So then I had to call around and see if someone would pick me up for church and take me home. No three and half hour trip down and back to pick up the boys, all alone for over 24 hrs...listened to a couple of sermons, did some dishes, some laundry, cleaned and polished the dining room table and coffee table and took a nap. The dish I made for the women's brunch turned out great and I reccomend it, if you can't find Swiss Chard I do believe Spinach would work fine. The discussion time centered around spiritual gifts...mine is not mercy, but you knew that. Okay, I guess that's all I want to tell you. Have a blessed week.

Sharing a Glimpse

Sheri reviewed My Bangs look Good and other lies I tell myself by Susanna Aughtmon. Loved the review and so I hopped on over to Susanna's blog Confessions of a Tired Supergirl.

Her first blog post was about her book but the second one was about some sliver jewelry that her sister makes and is for sale on Bonbon Charms.
Leave a comment before April 15 you will be entered to win a charm.
I know what I'm getting for my birthday, if I don't win.
If that wasn't enough excitement for one day, now I am off to the zoo with Elise and will be meeting up with at least one family from church and maybe more. Tomorrow is a ladies breakfast at church, which is always a little bit of excitement a little bit uncomfortableness. But it needn't be, for "Jesus Christ, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant,"I don't need to grasp how to be comfortable...only to be a servant...easier said than done, huh...good thing I have His robe of righteousness and not my own.

Carry On?

The last couple of books I have read have been adult books so I figured it was time for a children's book. Somewhere we picked up Carry On, Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham. I put it in the car to read while waiting in the car pick up line at the kids' schools or while I'm waiting for them at piano practice or at the doctors office. Sometimes I've been knitting too, so the reading isn't going that fast. Last week I got to the climax in Carry On, Mr. Bowditch....I had read through Nathaniel's growing up, teaching himself complicated mathematics, Latin and French while being indentured and then gaining employment at the end of his indenturement all the while having several family members die and then he falls in love and you know what happens next?Can you see in the middle of the book the little bit of a page poking out?
What you probably can't see is the page numbers at the top...
Let me help you out....
In the top left corner is page # 166
In the top right corner is page # 169
Evidently the previous possessor of this book really liked this part of the story because there are little stars all down the little bit of the remaining paper...
What do I do?
Well, knowing how easily I get distracted and forget details, I opted to read on instead of finding a book with an intact story.
The story was wonderful, even without page 167/168.
It may rate as one of my favorites, John-Thomas even agrees...he read it with the missing pages too and didn't warn me.

Monday ?

Finished the The Sisters Grimm: Everafter War by Micheal Buckley on Sunday. It was 7th in the series and I must say that it dragged until the last two chapters. I almost quit reading it several times. Did you see Pirates of the Caribbean 2? Do you remember how it had plenty of action but no substance until the last scene and then it declared "To be continued!" UGGGG That is exactly what happened. I have loved all the books before and this one was a little frustrating. Oh, well...as Josh would say...That's about right.
What else did I want to tell you....
Oh, I know....it is a diet/fitness website I heard about from one of the people featured on a Good Morning America weight loss segment. Spark People is free and will give you a menu and fitness plan. You can enter in what you ate for the day and how you exercised and it will tell you how you can do better tomorrow. That is...of course...if you spend the time logging in your food and activity. :( This is a good thing though, and I am on the second phase of it and am hoping that it will help me live more consistently. I have already committed to exercising 5 days a week (last week it was 6 days). Did I mention it was free? I have always wanted to do Weight Watchers but knew we could never afford it and the gym. I need the gym, plus the kids get to use it. So anyway, I keep meaning to tell you and today I finally remembered.
I don't think so...except I need some serious intervention right now because Stewart and John-Thomas made brownies and I smell their doneness. Should I not remind them the timer went off and let them burn...rendering them uneatable?