After All

1 John 3:2 "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is."

A year ago I spent one afternoon and only had a couple of exchanges with a 27 year old friend who was helping a family of 9 pack up their house to move across the country.  He was a colleague of my friends and he spoke to me like we had been friends our whole life.  In just a couple of conversations I knew he had a passion for Christ, for students living right and that he loved to be active.  He was involved in the life of another family I am friends with and I have thought how much I would like to spend time with him. Well, he died this week. Over 2,000 people have "liked" the prayers for James Belyea page. Josh never met him but after reading through the comments people were leaving he called me and was filled with emotion overflowing.   He impacted everyone he met and even some that had only heard of him.

When I heard After All  this morning it resonated some initial thoughts I had when it first came out.

When Stephen died it was instrumental in my grieving process to know that he had started his eternity of praising God, of worshiping him in fullness.  The face to face that we have sung about our whole lives.

But right now I can only dream about that majesty, it isn't bright enough right now.

Our life right now can't contain all of his Glory.

But He reigns.

I can't comprehend it but 

He is Holy

After All

I can't comprehend your infinitely beautiful and perfect love
Oh I've dreamed dreams of majesty as brilliant as a billion stars
But they're never bright enough after all

You are Holy
Oh Holy
Holy, Holy, Holy

I will sing a song for you my God with everything I have in me
But it's never loud enough after all

You are Holy
Oh Holy
Holy, Holy, Holy

Heaven and earth are full, full of your glory, glory
My soul it overflows full of your glory, your glory
Oh blessed is he who reigns, full of your glory, your glory
My cup, it can't contain all of your glory, your glory
Hosanna we are found after all you are

Holy
Oh Holy
Holy, Holy, Holy

I can't comprehend
You're infinitely beautiful

by the David Crowder Band

Another one of my grieving songs that has come out recently is Matt Redman's 10,000 Reasons
And another one that redirects me : Stronger by Hillsong

Faithful

It is pretty common for Josh to have Pandora playing worship music while we are getting ready for church.  In the bedroom I had the morning news on already and didn't turn it off until I heard "How he Loves" and it sounded different, could it be I wondered?
Yes it was.
It was John Mark McMillian.
A few months ago we learned the story behind the song. Before then I mostly listened to the David Crowder version.

Our church had a Thanksgiving service last night.  We ate Italian before and sang and gave thanks after.
The new pastor stopped the singing abruptly after the line :
Here I raise my Ebenezer
"Take a stone," he said, "and write what you are thankful for and place in up front."......."Oh, and tell everyone what you wrote."
Great idea but the first thing that came to my mind was Stephen because the last three songs we sang I had specifically written about this year.  Specifically written about how they taught me something about God. 
Streaming tears.
I couldn't go up there and write Stephen and then say why.
After sitting there and listening to all the wonderful reasons people were giving thanks I thought about the past year and the lesson I had taught in the morning's  Sunday school lesson. 
God has been faithful to talk to me through songs and teach me about his truth.

At the very end of McMillian's youtube song there is a line that is not on the radio version:
"I thought about you the day that Stephen died and you met me between my breaking, I know that I still love you God despite the agony."

In spite of

You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 1 : 6

...in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with joy...

the same songs are on my ipod that were on two years ago.

Sometimes when I'm listening to them I can remember sitting in the airport crying as I hear about Christ laying down his life.

but I welcomed His message with joy given by the Holy Spirit.

Did I?

I can say I sang of His mercies that lead me through sorrows to rivers of joy but I don't know if I welcomed the message with joy.

What would that look like?

Valleys of Sorrow

Last week was my turn to teach the 1-3rd graders for Sunday School. We have a funky rotation with three teachers. This week the promise focused on was
God will always be with you
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.

There was a wonderful illustration of a Mansion on a hilltop with valleys and rivers and rocks and obstructions between it and a shack on a hill top on the other side. The person is the mansion desperately loves the person in the shack and wants them to come live with him.
How is the person in the shack going to get to that mansion?

Second illustration
How did you learn to ride your bike? Did your parents let you fall?
Didn't they love you?
I asked the kids Why did your parents do that to you?
Micah A. said, "so you will get better."

Here starts the tears, the tears that had started the night before when I didn't know how I was going to get through the lesson....merely because the rest of the lesson focused around Stephen.
Stephen?
Every time I read about the Stephen of the Bible I always thought of my nephew Stephen and used to hope against hope that he wouldn't die that way. And he didn't but he did die.
God was with the Stephen of the New Testament even though he went through a very rough patch which is what the lesson was about. I didn't have to teach that though because in God's infinite wisdom He had one of the other teachers also prepare for the lesson. I was going to let her teach the whole lesson (because she is better anyway) but she said for me to take the first half and she would take the second half. She decided that it was a harsh lesson to teach to the kids and so she used the story of Joseph and how his brothers meant to harm him but God meant it for good.
Oh I am so thankful that God is with us through the valleys, He has not left us alone and that there is something so much greater than the rocks and briers and thorns along this journey and if I can just fix my eyes on that then I will be inordinately better off.
Hand in hand with that Sunday school lesson is this Jars of Clay song that played on my ipod this past Saturday when I got done with my jog and was on it again this morning as I headed out:

Valley Song Lyrics

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to you

Chorus
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face

But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures

Chorus x2

Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut

And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down

Chorus

Yeah

Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

Alleluia, alleluia alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia alleluia, alleluia

Chorus (4 Xs)

Oh, Lord sing of Your mercy,
Mercy

We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5 : 3-4

Burning Bush

Emmett woke up at 4 a.m. with his third bout of intestinal virus. Josh took the first two this week because they happened in the wee hours before my jogging day with my neighbor and I knew if I got up with him ...then I either wouldn't jog at all.... or walk most of it.
Not that I didn't hear the whole sickness goings on....and I still had to take out the canine members of the family.... once someone gets up, they feel the need to step outside for a brisk walk around the yard.
That being said, the thought crossed my mind this morning that we would skip Sunday School this morning...after all there are 3 other teachers for the class I help with, and it was not my Sunday to teach. But go we did.
Good thing #1 of going was that two of the other ladies did not show up this morning and Kelly needed another warm body in the room.
Good thing #2...and is really the Mighty Good thing of the morning:
2Chronicles 16:9a
"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.
Phil 4 :13
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Kelly asked if the bush spoke to Moses?
Noooooo the kids replied, God spoke to him.
God told Moses to go back to Egypt, that He would be with Moses and strengthen him.
(I know this story, you know this story...starting to tune out at this point?)
Again and again God showed his mighty power and ability through turning the staff to a snake, the leprous hand, etc...
Moses still said he couldn't do it.
God did not get angry with Moses, he showed grace and mercy and sent him Aaron.

At this point huge tears welled up in my eyes as God reminded me of his work in my sister's life and my role as Aaron. God told her she could make it through the year anniversary, He had shown her over and over in her life His might and ability to sustain and give her strength. In His providence though he prompted me to buy a airplane ticket for that final trek into Egypt. I have not felt much like Aaron these past two months and hopefully I haven't been off building any golden calves...and hopefully I can continue to support and share strength to my sister and she speaks to the Pharaohs in her life.

How

"All of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory"

The ladies that did the idol study with me, started Crazy Love last night.
One of the questions on this study guide I found asked
"Have you ever been in total awe of God? When?"

Yesterday while sitting in the park while Emmett had homeschool sports and Elise was clambering around the pond and jungle gym I couldn't remember the last time I was in awe of God.
Surely I am in awe of him most every time I worship but is there, was there, a time I can specifically point out recently where I can say I am in awe of him?
This morning I played this youtube video one of my friends on Facebook posted and I remembered.
When I was visiting my sister's church in Indiana they played this song during communion.
And, I'm pretty sure they played it the year before when I was visiting.

Stephen's death has me in awe of God.

"We are his portion and he is our prize
drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes"

Oh how he loves us.

"This is my covenant with them," says the Lord. "My Spirit, who is on you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will not depart from your mouth, or from the mouths of your children, or from the mouths of their descendants from this time on and forever," says the Lord.

Isaiah 59 : 21

There is mercy.

This is reposted from last year. Tonight we are having a bonfire to remember.
The song we sang in church today fit perfectly:
You make beautiful things out of dust...You make beautiful things out of us.

Psalm 130
Out of the deep have I called unto thee, O Lord;
Lord, hear my voice
O let your ears consider well
the voice of my complaint.
If thou, Lord, wilt be extreme to mark what is done amiss,
O Lord, who may abide it?
For there is mercy with thee,
therefore shalt thou be feared.
I look for the Lord; my soul doth wait for him;
My soul fleeth unto the Lord before the morning watch;
I say before the morning watch.
O Isreal, trust in the Lord,
for with the Lord there is mercy,
and with him is plenteous redemption.
And he shall redeem Israel
from all his sins.

Yesterday I had a two hour lay over in D.C. Normally I take a book traveling and this time I took the Book of Common Prayer. The last two funerals I have been to were Episcopal services and it brought me so much comfort. The prayers in it are straight from the Bible and it has the Psalms...however it is in King James. I also took my mp3 player and listened to Before the Throne of God and Crown of Thorns while I read and cried. Yep, just sat in the D.C. terminal with tears streaming down my face for losing my Godbaby and for my sister losing her first born and for God's mercy which is surely with us. It's the truth and that is what I needed to set my eyes on. The blessed thing is that my sister and brother-in-law know the truth too and through their tears and heartache are sharing it with all the kids that mourning the loss of their friend. There is mercy.
The service is Wednesday morning...

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

So Strong and So Mighty

"O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress"
- Isaiah 33:2
All this week on Air1 they have played a new song by Matthew West and he has read the letter he recieved that the song was based upon. Today's song was Strong Enough
Next week will be a year anniversary and we are not strong enough to wake up in the morning and remember but we don't need to be strong enough.  In the middle of our weakness it is hard to fathom the strength to press on and focus on Who is stong and mighty instead of what we don't have. But is really very simple and while I was listening to Strong Enough I was reminded of the children's song... 

Our God is so Big so strong and so mighty there's nothing our God can not do
The mountains are His, the valleys are his the stars are his handiwork too, 
Our God is so Big so Strong and so mighty there's nothing our God can not do ........For You!
For a more poetic mature audience the hymn by Horatius Bonar fits also very nicely  
O LOVE OF GOD, HOW STRONG AND TRUE

Phillipians 4:13,................. I don't have to be strong enough....neither do you!

“Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God.” Romans 8:38-39

Still more tears

Alleluia! Christ being raised from the dead will die no more; death has no more dominion over him. This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Alleluia!

Romans 6 : 9, Psalm 118 : 24

You'd think that after almost a year that I could sing this song without crying and even though I don't remember the song when we start it,as soon as the song gets to the part I highlighted I tear up for myself and then for Stephen.

For myself, because regularly I listen the bully and think that there is no hope of me ever getting any better....but God's word says that I am better, I am getting better and I will get better because Christ did win the victory over the power and death of Satan.

For Stephen because he has no guilt in the life he lead, he had no fear in death and Jesus commanded his destiny from baby to his death. No scheme of man took that away from him and he was called home to stand with Christ. Tears, tears and more tears.

In Christ Alone by Stuart Townsend

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all-in-all
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that Cross, as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand
Here in the power of Christ alone

When Christ had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.

Hebrews 10 : 12-14 |

Finding a purpose

This summer I have sought to find a children's choir for Elise and Emmett.  And long story short I am starting a children's small group with an emphasis on singing that will meet at the church on Wednesday's night while the older two are in Youth Group.  As with any ministry I need a Bible verse to anchor my vision.  I wanted something personal to me.  While I was thinking of that this morning I was listening to Third Day's Medley of Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus.  This is the song I heard Cathron singing to Stephen many sleepless nights the summer I spent with them when he was 3 months old. This is the song I sung to my babies.  This is the song we sung at his funeral. 

April 1999 John-Thomas is in my lap and Stephen is beside me, Stewart is in front of him and Joshua is holding the leaf of tree they had been climbing. I carry this picture in my sermon notes journal.

I wondered this morning what Bible verse the song was based on and in my google search the cyberhymnal site popped up.  Hebrews 12:2 is the running banner across the top of the page. I don't know if that will be my theme verse but it was wonderful to read the verses that go with the refrain that has come to mean so much to me.

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Refrain

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!

Refrain

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

There shall be no more pain

Josh asked me yesterday when I was going to post something new? He has our computer set so that Hope and a Future is our home page when you open the internet...so for him it has been a reminder that it has been almost two weeks since I revealed my August memory verse, for me it has been almost two weeks of a very good reminder to work on said memory verse (which I haven't been too good at). Insert here the verse about confessing to one another.

Last night was the final session of my study with the ladies at church on A Women's heart God's dwelling place by Beth Moore. The facilitator asked for final thoughts on the study as a whole? Instead of something profound the first thing that came to my mind was that I have only missed one session (the night we had free baseball tickets) and there was only 1 day that I didn't do the homework and looking back through the book to make sure that is an accurate statement, I can't even find that day. The verse about only boasting in the Lord should be inserted here.

Day 3 in No other God's by Kelly Minter asked "Are you currently going through a time when you really have no idea how things are going to work out, but you are moving ahead in faith, believing that God will show Himself as the Lord who provides?" In the NOG book my response was that "I don't know who will help with children's choir and how I will run it." But during the video when Beth Moore read Revelation 21:4 I had a different thought.

¹ Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”
And He said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son

As she read verse 4 it occurred to me that this study has been a way for God to bring healing and hope to Stephen's death. It has pointed me to the gospel of mercy and set my eyes on the goal set before me. The tears are fresh on my face as I write this. In almost every video she has touched on the nerve that sparks the deluge.
All of the things mentioned in that verse is telling us what won't be there, and then Beth Moore went on to ask what are you looking forward to not being there? My first thought was fat...then I felt real bad because she started asking her audience and they said things like small caskets, victimization, betrayal, cancer....but after this went on for a while a lady in the audience said.....fat. Even though Beth Moore had been very near tears herself to think of all the pain in that room she sat down and laughed when that lady called it out. I'm not alone.
At Stephen's viewing I realized how close tears and laughter were related and I am remembering that again. One of the ladies who came through to give her condolences to Cathron said, "When I get to heaven I'm going whip that boy". I don't remember all the other things Cathron and I laughed about that night. I mostly remember crying.


I know you hate to see my cry, one day you will set all things right.
When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands.

Suffering for Christ

The general suffering from living in a fallen world has been a theme weaving through my thoughts since Stephens death last October.  Between last weeks Beth Moore video, the sermon on Sunday, this week's Beth Moore study and then this week's No Other God's study, it has been shouting to me. It has made me cry, it has made me grumpy, it has given me hope, it has made me think outside of what my day to day life operates around.  Sunday's whole sermon was worth quoting but instead I am including two quotes he used:

"Misfortune & death are certainly ‘normal’ in the sense that they are universally experienced, but they are not normal when viewed from God’s intention in creation & his plan in redemption.

The idea that normal life...should always be harmonious & free from suffering, despite universal
suffering and death, remains a lingering echo of life in Eden as God created it before the fall." -Karen Jobes (commentary on 1 Peter)

Jon Stott "The essence of sin is we human beings substituting ourselves for God, while the essence of salvation is God substituting himself for us. We . . . put ourselves where only God deserves to be; God . . . puts himself where we deserve to be [on the Cross]."

What does all that have to do with the pictures?  They were a highlight of this past weeks activitiy.  My neighbor took us out in the boat and we all had a turn out on the water...what a treat to go in the middle of the day on a weekday when there was NO one out on a normally busy waterway!

 See here for more ties to a related subject I ran across while looking for the Karen Jobes quote.

Fix our Eyes

Today is June 3, so I'm only a little late on posting my June verse!

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Jonathon, Stewart, Emmett, John-Thomas Elise and Olivia before they got in Salt Springs.

Jonathan, Joshua and Stewart were the first ones in.

Emmett is either checking out the spring or trying to catch a fish.

Yesterday we (me and my kids, Cathron, Dave and their kids) drove an hour and a half to Salt Springs.  I've never been there but Cathron and Dave took their kids 4 years ago.  Four years ago, Stephen would've been about the same age as John-Thomas.  "For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 

Pray without ceasing

What prompts you to pray?
Most of the time I fail to pray for a person unless the Holy Spirit randomly brings them to my mind.  I say randomly because yesterday while I was wiping my face with toner, the name Steve Exantus was in my head where previously there was nothing.  I mean, c'mon while I am washing my face there is normally nothing going on in my thoughts.  Anyway, I finished up the toner and lotion by lifting up that brother in prayer. A lot of times, songs on the radio will remind me of someone to pray for.  When I check my email I remember to pray for LaJuan who is in China for two weeks.
This morning while on Facebook I saw Jake's status and remembered that I hadn't prayed for him or Corey in a while. These boys were friends of Stephen's that do not know the Lord.  There are several boys that have been going to the church for the past 6 months and are being discipled by my brother-in-law.
But not Jake and Corey....
Jake's status is that he will partying this weekend and Corey is off the radar completely.
Corey was the one riding with Stephen, my heart aches for him.

 What a difference a year makes?

Ephesians 6:10-20.

Finally, be strong in the LORD and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Grace will lead me home

Today I went to my second funeral in 2010.
And like the first one, I had never met the man but I knew his son and was friends with his daughter-in-law.
Both were Catholic, and born in other countries.
I was sad for the families and sad for my family still mourning Stephen which naturally a funeral service brings up.
The priest said a prayer that seems to express a very unruly thing about deaths:

"Dispel the darkness and doubt that comes with grief."

Amazing Grace was playing on the radio after the service while waiting for the procession to the grave. Immediately I was back in my sister's excursion heavy leaden and wondering if Gloria was feeling the same way. It's a burden that does not shake easily.
I came home and took a nap.
Tonight I went out to the car to get my funeral service and saw my note from one of the readings, The Book of Wisdom, and looked it up on Google and found it right away.

The souls of the just are in the hand of God

and no torment shall touch them.

They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead;

and their passing away was thought an affliction

and their going forth from us, utter destruction.

But they are in peace.

For if in the eyes of men, indeed they be punished,

yet is their hope full of immortality;

Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed,

because God tried them,

and found them worthy of himself.

As gold in the furnace, he proved them,

and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.

Those who trust in him shall understand truth,

and the faithful shall abide with him in love:

Because grace and mercy are with his holy ones,

and his care is with his elect.

I will be praying for the Perez family to know the joy that is theirs in Christ Jesus, even though at this time it seems like Joy has hidden her face and only sorrow has moved in.

Thorns

The dog that followed me home in December, flew the coop this past weekend, and there might be an unwelcome relocation of where we live soon, and the tears are still too near the surface from Stephen's death.
But...
Yesterday I had an 80 minute walk with a friend and we talked about normal stuff like groceries and cleaning and getting our mind wrapped around not eating garbage. It was good.
This week will be okay, it has to be.

Streams of Mercy never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.

Insert Bible verse here

White Christmas

Left Jacksonville at 7 in the morning Saturday and arrived at my sister Cathron's house in Indiana at 11:15 pm. The roads weren't bad though we were holding our breath driving through Bloomington because there was a light snow falling and we had no idea if the roads were icy and our Floridian ignorance had us on the edge of our seats. More light snow on Sunday and Monday so Elise got to make a snowball and they tried sledding but really there wasn't enough snow of that.
We worshiped at Exodus Sunday morning and we were joined by 6 of Stephen's friends.
Amen
It's still hard.
Stephen's stocking is hung.
It will get better.
We went to a winery yesterday and an Antique Mall, I bought a biscuit/doughnut cutter...broke the bank with my $6 purchase. Today hopefully I can hit a few more stores to paroose through, feeling the need to walk a little. There are spiced nuts and gumdrop cookies and buttermilk fudge and peanut butter blossom cookies and Dove peppermint bark chocolates and....What does Scarlet say?

Are we there yet?

Finished some projects and thought I would share them with you.
Last Thanksgiving I started my first hat...finished it last weekend.
The little bear was my first attempt at following directions and making I-cord. The I-cord needs some practice or someone to correct where ever I'm going wrong but I was mildly satisfied with crooked bear and decided to put a ribbon on it and hang it on the tree. The monster was a project that I saw in a kid's crafting book...I figured if a kid could make it, I bet I could too...and I did.
Today I need to start wrapping presents and making cookies.
Fortunately the weather has cooled slightly so the heat from the oven may actually be welcome.

Oh, and I have another Amen to shout out to ya'll,
On Facebook there is an application called Social Interview where you answer questions about your friends. At the beginning of the week it asked if I had ever had a dream about Brandon (one of Stephen's friends), I answered yes...."that he would have a passion for Christ and share that with his wife and baby"
Well Girlfriends, do ya know that he answered that my dream had come true?
My sister read that, and told him she was making her cry and they needed to talk.
If I could have some music playing right now it would be, Bringing in the Sheaves....actually that's the only part of the song I know so maybe the rest isn't applicable but it seems like it would. If I wasn't supposed to picking up my daughter from kindergarten right now I might look it up.

paths

The first time we went camping I was very excited, and even though I look forward to it each year I am not rearing to go. This morning I am thinking about how excitement wears off when the firsts are over...you know first time to go camping, first time 4 wheeling...whatever. Sometimes those firsts get better over time and sometimes they aren't as good as you thought it would be in the first place.
I am thinking of pillars of remembrance and how God told the Israelites to make stone pillars as memorials to what He had done for them.
I am thinking of my sister and her first Thanksgiving without the son who made the crescent rolls for her. She has so many firsts in front of her...we all do...
What are we doing with them?
Thanksgiving is an excellent time to have all these thoughts.
Those Pilgrims of long ago recognizing our need to Thank God for all he had done for them, the good and the bad.

Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll

Exempt from Pain?

This (it is also below, please pause music on the right first) is the link to hear my brother-in-law's words of hope at my 18 yr old nephew Stephen's funeral. The words the pastor spoke afterwards on wrestling with God did my heart good. We all think we go to the best church and aren't too impressed when we go to someone else's church but I was happily surprised by Exodus Church in Bloomington, Indiana. They take church out of the box but manage to use everything the box is made of to repackage not only the worship service but the body of Christ into truth to a hurting world. Matt Nussbaum's words that "Even a friend of Jesus is not exempt from pain" held no bitterness or scorn but comfort in how much God is for us.