Thursday, July 30, 2009

Needs


While much of Leah's discussion during the second part of mini-marriage seminar I will not repeat because well...you know.
She said that much of what she has learned has come from Linda Dillow's books.
Which reminds me that Dave said his stuff came from Larry Crabb's book.
Men have two needs
1.Respect/Honor...but then she described the difference between the two.
I have often wondered how women can respect their husbands when their abilities, qualities and achievements leave so little to be admired....That's where the honor comes in...she describe it as the something we would give/show a king or a president simply because they are king or president. She said whether or not you like the current president you would rise when he came in the room.

Ephesians 5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

I'm sure there were plenty of women thinking that they still couldn't honor or respect their husbands because then she said:
"When we don't receive the love and attention from God then we go to husbands and children and we then get frustrated." how deep is the well that you are drawing from?
Respect involves actively admiring your husband.
  1. Be his #1 fan-the president of his fan club....you may be but does he know? The wife is the most important person to give respect. He will frequent the place where he gets respect the most.
  2. Focus on his strengths. Do not mention his weaknesses or his faults unless he asks you for feedback. She was VERY funny at this point in her mock prayers to God for Him to show her something/ANYTHING positive for her to focus on to communicate to her husband...Prayers for husband rules this woman's life. It's an exercise of Faith sometimes. Where do we go when we feel hurt because of him?
    1. Jesus: I am Tell on your husband to God and then your response will be worship instead of destructive.
  3. Sow words of belief in him. Prov.12:8, 15:23 and one other that I didn't get down.
  4. Be gentle in speaking truth to him. Be vulnerable without fear.
2ND Need: Romance
This book was recommended. Leah had that whole room of women laughing as she recited stories of romance that she had planned for her husband. She was all about initiation.
She said "I want to be the best mistress".
That involves daily talk times for her and her husband, weekly dates, being physically fit, and a Delilah's closet of lingerie. Oh, my and she even brought some to show off.
Well, there you have it ladies...may your marriages be blessed.
I would like to testify to telling on your husband to God....he does answer. Whatever issue I have had with Josh....if I tell God about it then it is in His hands and not my problem anymore. Not that I have much to complain about but little annoyances seem to creep up once a month and if I can keep my mouth shut long enough to take it to God, everyone is way better off....I'm sure that's true with every relationship...

4 comments:

CroppinRobin said...

thank, i now need ice for my toes.

CroppinRobin said...

i meant to say,
thanks, i now need ice for my toes. they are sore from being stepped on, guess i needed to post my comment twice.

Gloria said...

That is really good stuff that I need to be reminded of now and then. I read Shanti Feldhahn's book a few years ago "For Women Only" which is based a lot on Emerson Eggerich's book "Love & Respect." It's along the same lines as Leah's women's marriage talk. I've gotten criticized in the past about Arthur's triathlon stuff, but I'm his #1 fan, his biggest supporter (you might need to remind me of that next time I go through a complaining session about all his training)!

Sometimes when we go out, even if I've heard the story or the event before...I think to myself how would I act if I was on a first date with him. What would my body language say to him to show him I am interested in what he is saying....and he responds by being more loving, more considerate. I learned that from a patient and her husband. They had been married for over 40+ years and every time either of them told a story, they would look at each other as if it was the first time they ever heard it - they would nod, make eye contact, laugh and smile along. It was so awesome to see. I thought to myself now there is a life lesson right there.

Geez - check out this post, you would think it was my own blog!

sister sheri said...

Really? She brought her lingerie? I'm sure that made for a lot of conversation!